SEPT. 28 2014
Sometimes I think that things are really destined to happen. Like when the time that I decided not to bother him anymore, there he was, eager to chat me up just to relate how happy his evening was.
Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako o hindi. Kung aasa ba ako ulit o itutuloy ko ba na mag-give up na sa kanya. Siguro, kahit ano namang piliin ko sa dalawa, there’s one thing na hindi magbabago, itong feelings ko.
Ngayon ko lang rin masasabi na completely moved on na ako sa past. Antagal narin since nagka-nightmares ako na may kinalaman sa past ko. They were right. Time heals. Maybe talagang kelangan ko lang ng mahabang proseso para tanggapin lahat ng nangyari. It is the right time that I need to accept everything that happened.
Basta. I’m happy today. Maybe even happier tomorrow. Alam ko naman na hindi ako papabayaan ni God. :)
SEPT 22, 2014
"Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I’m sitting here thinking it through
I’ve never been anywhere cold as you
You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you..”u
- Cold as You
Please. I don’t understand. Don’t make me a fool. Quota nako sa pagiging tanga wag mo ng ulitin.
Kasalanan ko rin naman kasi. Shame on me. Masyado nanaman akong naging imaginative. Dammit.
Well, this sums it all up:
"Do you really want to know why?" tumayo ako sa harapan nya," Coz I'm insecure. There, I said it! I'm insecure as hell! You think I'm happy? F*ck no! Ang hirap sa sitwasyon ko Kevin. You always need to be perfect, kasi my family's perfect. Dammit. I did that because ayokong madisappoint sina Kuya. I did that coz naiinggit ako kina Sath at Jerro, na palaging sweet. Kina Amae at Keith na laging nagkukulitan. Kina Paolo at Kat na kahit malayo, they're happy. I did that coz I developed stupid feelings for Paul again. Well, how about me? Forever alone. Nakakamiss yung feeling na may nag-aalaga sayo, nagtatanong kung okay ka lang, kung kumain na ako, yung mag magtetext.. basta ayun! Nakakamiss yung ganun, na hindi mo makikita sa barkada. I long for that someone, and that's Paul." - Jersey Santiago
SEPT. 21 2014
Walang kuryente for almost two days. I almost died hahaha :D But someone particular made these days bearable and happy.. Sobrang bait niya na pumayag siyang makicharge ako ng hatinggabi sa kanila. Who would do that to someone you just met a month ago?
Kaya siguro nagustuhan ko siya..
Cause the first time I met him, there’s a weird feeling, like, “Hey, this could be something..” I know it’s weird, pero I have this gut feeling na maybe he can be a part of my life. I saw something in him that made him shine throughout the other guys that I’ve met. Gusto ko siyang kilalanin at sana bigyan niya ako ng chance para doon.
Please bigyan mo ako ng chance para kilalanin ka.
People will claim to miss you and yet they don’t even make an effort to text, call or see you.
SEPT. 18 2014
Ilang beses kong paulit-ulit na sinasabing wala munang lovelife ngayong college. Para akong sirang plaka. Hindi ko naman masisisi yung sarili ko kung bakit takot na takot na akong pumasok ulit sa isang relationship.
But there’s something so different with him.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s not that quite handsome. In fact, he’s average. But there was so different in him that’s so interesting the first time that we talked. He’s so intelligent and that is a major turn on for me. There is something so cool about him. Ewan ko, siguro ako lang ang may feelings na ganito sa kanya.
Close siya sa blockmates ko and we constantly text, tweet and talk to other. Siguro nga halatang halata na yung pagkakilig ko kapag kausap ko siya. Nakakainis, college nako pero parang elem kung magkacrush. Bahala na si God kung saan to mapunta.
Kasi handa na ulit akong magmahal at masaktan. :)